I do what i do because i love it....but now that i've been questioned about why i really do it? I question myself what my real intentions are.
P.S- when i refer to "it", i mean serving the Lord through this ministry.
I mean the truth is "it" for me comprises of a number of things. Such that, i love to encourage/exhort, i love to teach, i love to speak and interact with others, i love to write blogs and make vlogs, i love to spread love, i love to serve, I JUST LOVE TO DO MINISTRY--looking for every opportunity to serve. But i'm questioning my intent of my passions; as in, am i really doing this because "i love the idea of it" or am i doing this because "i love GOD"???
We're faced with many tricky questions everyday but this one blew me out of my seat. I'm wondering if i've allowed a secret pride to take away my focus, looking to grow in MINISTRY, but not waiting on God to grow ME. It's as if God's ministry through me is growing way more than my actually relationship because i'm too focused on the completion of another project--seeing whats next. But life in the world is not like life in God. We must keep in mind that the race is not for the swift, but for those who can endure. (Ecclesiastes 9:11) Its not about how fast you grow, but how committed and consistent you are, sticking with God and taking the steps he leads you to take.
God won't lead you where he hasn't been (Hebrew 4:15) or abandon you where you find it difficult to press on (Deuteronomy 31:6). He's right beside you day and night. And it's full time we see that he matters more than anything.
The enemy tries to distract us in every way possible when he sees us excelling in God, and especially when God has a victory, a charge deep within us ready to be birthed. This can only be called to purpose. A friend in Christ told me it's easy to confuse PASSION with PURPOSE. PASSION can be mistaken and be materialized, but PURPOSE!--PURPOSE is God-given. Gifted by the mighty powers of God. And no matter what the adversity, it can't be removed!
So listen children of God...WAIT ON GOD! Sounds easier said than done because many times we take a million steps ahead of God forgetting who's our Jehovah Jireh--our Provider, Jehovah Nissi--our banner and Jehovah Shalom--our peace. Let's slow down a bit, or a lot! Put your hands in God's and ask him to show you how to be patient, trusting and humble in him.
Don't get me wrong! At absolutely NO TIME am i saying ministry isn't imperative; BUT, your relationship with Christ Jesus is far more important. Don't rush into a ministry without praying and fasting about it. We need to serve God but we shouldn't go ahead and do something he didn't send us to do. That's where we confuse passion with purpose again. You feel a nudge (passion), so you dive head way into it without consulting Jehovah. But that special calling--that purpose, will lead you where God's footprints are. Consulting, praying, fasting and meditating on it will reassure you that it's definitely GOD and not just YOU!
If you haven't found your calling yet, it's fine, many are saved for years without actually knowing it until they let God intervene in that part of their lives. It won't happen over night so pray about it because:
1 John 5:14 New International Version (NIV)
14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
God grows us, but we must be willing to wait on His timing. God is truly spectacular. If he can humble and show me the way, he can do the same for you.
I'm also personally thankful to another lovely sister in Christ for encouraging and speaking sense into me, it was as though God spoke to me through her. She reminded me to be patient and let God work in and through me and then this ministry will flourish in time! PEOPLE DON'T FORGET THE REASON YOU FIRST FOLLOWED CHRIST....CONTINUE PURSING THE HEART OF GOD! HE LOVES YOU <3
PRAYER:
Lord i pray even now that you open the heart of your people, let them see you for who you really are, a king that loves and wants the ultimate best for them. Let them know that pursing after your heart is the best thing they've ever done or will ever do. Lord God open their eyes and mind to accept and wait on your timing to work through everything for them, taking over their jobs and careers, homes, marriages, families and relationship with you, reassuring them of your grace and love. Heal their wounded situations and let them know the hope to which they've been called in you. Amen.
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